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Non-fiction

How Do I Get Over Sadness?

Süleyman Karacelil
Review by: Türkanə Əliyeva17 September 20261 min read
A faith-based guide to grief and sadness by Islamic-studies academic Süleyman Karacelil, woven from Quranic references and personal counsel — written for readers seeking religiously grounded comfort rather than clinical psychology.
Who Is This Book For?
Good Fit
  • Readers who want to understand grief within a religious (Islamic) framework and seek faith-based comfort
  • Anyone who prefers short, aphoristic, directly addressed writing over long scientific explanation
  • Readers who like advice illustrated with concrete, numbered lists and everyday dialogue examples (a married couple, a conversation with a friend)
  • Readers looking for practical guidance on who — and how much — to tell about their grief
Not a Fit
  • Readers seeking purely clinical or research-based psychology — the book relies mainly on religious reference and personal observation
  • Readers expecting a fully secular approach outside a religious framework
  • Anyone looking for a substitute for professional treatment of serious clinical depression — the author himself states this is "the domain of specialists"
How Readers Rate It
Approach 1.8/5 Religious
Practicality 3.6/5 Practical
Beginner-friendliness 3.9/5 Beginner
35 voters
Foreword and the opening of Part One: "Man and Life," "About Sadness"
Covers the Foreword and the first two subsections of Part One — "Man and Life" and "About Sadness" (pp. 7–20, ~13 pages, ~8% of the book); the rest of Part One and the entirety of Part Two ("How Do I Get Over Sadness?") are not addressed here.

In the foreword, Karacelil introduces himself — a professor of religious education at Adıyaman University who says the book grew out of his experience counseling grieving friends. He explicitly limits his aim: not to eliminate sadness entirely, but to "lighten it and turn it into relief," stressing that serious clinical cases remain the domain of medical treatment.

"Man and Life" opens with a poetic, enumerating style — listing people across the world (a lonely figure on a bench in America, a child fishing at the poles, a hunter in the forest, a teacher, a bank clerk) to show that each lives out grief and joy in their own "small world," entirely unaware of the others. The section closes by addressing God directly, through a series of epithets describing Him as the one true way out of sorrow ("He who opens the doors when all others close, He who heals...").

The "About Sadness" section gives a concrete definition of grief: "the emotional pain that arises when something loved or valued slips away, or when hope is lost for something deeply desired." The author then lists seven main sources of sadness: losing a loved one, economic hardship, health problems, relationship troubles, love, failing to reach one's goals, and loneliness.

One of the book's most counterintuitive arguments: the author claims that sharing your grief with everyone doesn't reduce it — it grows it "like a snowball," since each retelling "refreshes" the sorrow. He gives a concrete example: a wife's well-meaning words to her exhausted, restless-sleeping husband ("my poor darling, you couldn't sleep all night") actually deepen his distress rather than soothe it.

Following this logic, the author recommends answering "How are you?" with "I'm fine," no matter how bad one feels — framing this not as a lie but as social convention, reserving real disclosure only for a trusted psychologist or a close friend.

The section closes with a warning about people who have grown accustomed to sadness: anyone who has "channeled" themselves toward grief will always find a reason for it — the issue, the author argues, is less about the weight of the real problem and more about whether a person has habituated themselves to sorrow.

Reading Experience
  • The style is aphoristic and repetitive — the opening section is built from short, rhythmic sentences (sometimes just "...") designed for emotional effect
  • Key sentences recur as pull-quotes alongside the main text (e.g. "Sadness is like a snowball" is highlighted twice in different places)
  • Quranic verses and religious argument, rather than scientific citation, serve as the book's primary source of evidence
  • Numbered lists (like the causes of sadness) and real everyday dialogue examples ground the abstract ideas in concrete terms
Content Warning
The book is explicitly written from a religious (Islamic) framework — may not suit readers seeking a secular or clinical approachThe author himself emphasizes the book is not a substitute for medical/clinical treatment; serious cases belong with specialists
If You Liked This
Living Without SorrowVehbi Vakkasoğlu

Another grief/sorrow guide already published on the site, on a similar topic, by a different author

Man's Search for MeaningViktor Frankl

A classic exploring the relationship between suffering and meaning, from a different (secular/existentialist) framework

Spoiler
What concrete steps does the book offer for overcoming sadness?
⚠️ The general direction, based on the table of contents, is revealed here.

Part Two ("How Do I Get Over Sadness?") continues with chapters on focusing on today rather than yesterday ("Yesterday is gone, what matters is today"), preparing for the worst-case outcome, finding comfort in what remains rather than what is lost, and how doing good deeds eases grief.

The book repeats the idea that everything one holds is really a temporary "trust" — reframing loss as the trust being reclaimed, in order to lighten its emotional weight — and closes by addressing death itself, arguing that "even in what seems the worst event, there can be good."

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