How to Meet Your Self
Good Fit
- Readers who want to observe themselves and track repeating patterns of behaviour, feeling and belief in writing
- Anyone who likes working with ideas such as the inner child, the inner critic and the ego
- People who can give 10–15 minutes a day and want to move forward in a workbook format
Not a Fit
- Readers who want scientific proof and a clinical guide: the book is not a replacement for therapy and a number of claims are given in shortened form
- People with severe childhood trauma or abuse who want to work alone: the author recommends taking breaks and working with a therapist if needed
- Readers who only want to read: the value of a workbook lies in writing and practising, and it is weak as plain text
The introduction begins with an invitation: «welcome to the start of a life-changing journey with the potential to transform you from your very centre». Dr Nicole LePera says that much of who we are is determined not by today's conscious choices but by our past; people live much of their lives on autopilot and unconsciously recreate early childhood experiences. The aim of the book is to observe these patterns without judgment: only by understanding behaviour patterns do we create room to change them. «I wrote this workbook to be your guiding light, to show you a clear path to the truth of who you actually are».
The author also tells her own story: a few years ago she was an exhausted and depleted practising therapist who had neglected her own needs to please others; a health crisis (fainting spells and bowel problems) set her on «her own healing journey». Then the «SelfHealers» community formed. Dr LePera is honest: «this will not be easy; you will see your hurt, betrayed, abandoned parts». The book is designed as a wholly self-guided resource: at your own pace, wherever you like; you can take a break, «there is no right or wrong way to do this work».
The instructions are practical: set aside ten to fifteen minutes every day (morning or before bed), use coloured pens, get a separate notebook and create a «safe space» — a candle, a warm blanket, soothing music, a pet. The author suggests taking the workbook to therapy, sharing it with a friend or completing it with a partner. The strongest side of the text is its non-judgmental «there is nothing wrong with you» tone; the weak side is that the motivational language of the introduction is sometimes general.
The section «Creating our own inner support system» calls it «a toolbox inside us»: a fifteen-minute brisk walk when over-anxious, a five-minute deep-breathing technique when waking sad, a «grounding» exercise after an intense talk with a partner (attention to the colours in the room and to the floor supporting your feet), going to bed early when you have felt low all day. «Creating a sense of safety» begins: when we do not feel safe «we cannot hear the voices coming from our authentic Self»; breath is a powerful way of regulating the nervous system, and you can take a break at any time.
- In each chapter the theoretical explanation is kept short, then work areas and meditation audio recordings follow
- The author draws close to the reader by speaking of her own health crisis
- Short exercises (breath, grounding, safe space) suit daily application
- The tone is inviting and undemanding, «there is no right or wrong way»
The author's main book; this workbook is its sequel
A more scientific and extensive book on trauma and the body
Another, more systematic approach to changing habits
At the end of the part read the author presents the breath as the first concrete tool: learning to use the breath is a powerful way of regulating the nervous system, and a sense of safety is the inner foundation on which everything in the workbook is built. Practice and patience — the more practice, the more comfort.
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