The New TA for Kids and Grown-Ups Too

Alvyn Freed wrote the book in 1970–71, when TA literature consisted only of Eric Berne's books, Thomas Harris's 'I'm OK — You're OK' and bulletin articles from the international TA association. There was nothing for children. In the preface he states his aim plainly: to write 'so that an eight-year-old can understand' and to 'make you smile'. For the revised edition his wife Margaret Freed became co-author; confusing abbreviations were dropped in response to readers' criticism, and the Parent concept was expanded. Each chapter is designed to fit one class session and ends with exercises and short quizzes.

Chapter 1 opens by addressing the child directly: 'You are three people. You thought you were one, didn't you?' The Parent inside us is what we learned from our mother, father, grandparents and teachers — sometimes very bossy ('Come here right now!'), sometimes nurturing ('Would you like toast and milk, sweetie?'). The Adult is the part of us that thinks, learns and solves problems; it's the Adult at work while the child reads this book and answers the questions. The Child is where our feelings and play live: the author describes barking back at dogs and meowing with his cat. Explaining separately that the capitalized 'Parent' is not the same as a real mum or dad is a good teaching move.

Chapter 2 is the best-known part of the book. A 'stroke' is any action showing that someone has noticed we are there: a smile, a pat on the back, a hello, a compliment. In Claude Steiner's famous phrase, the ones that feel good are 'Warm Fuzzies' and the ones that feel bad are 'Cold Pricklies'. The most valuable idea is this: the best Warm Fuzzies are the ones you don't have to earn, given simply because you exist. The author admits that as a boy he spilled his milk and whined at his mother because he thought his brother got more attention — a negative stroke is better than no stroke at all. It is a genuinely useful model for explaining to children the link between 'being naughty' and seeking attention.

Yet the book's weak spots also appear in this chapter. The section on 'marasmus' says that babies who were never picked up 'gave up wanting to live and died', and that once doctors told nurses to cuddle the babies 'no one got sick'. The importance of emotional care is well established (mid-20th-century studies of orphanages), but marasmus is medically a form of severe malnutrition, and the simplified story — along with the footnote calling it a 'spine-shriveling' disease — is not scientifically accurate. The epigraph to Chapter 1 dates 'Desiderata' to 1693; the text was in fact written by Max Ehrmann in 1927, and the '1692' myth arose from an old printing mix-up.

The Turkish translator is an academic working in TA, and it shows in the careful choice of terms. Family names from the original have been replaced with Turkish children's names, which makes reading easier. Overall, the book is most useful when read and discussed with a child chapter by chapter; it should be valued as a conversation starter rather than as a scientific text to be read alone.

• A warm, humorous voice that speaks to the child directly as 'you'
• Discussion questions, exercises and a key-concepts list at the end of every chapter
• Cartoon-style illustrations and speech bubbles