Fears Inside Children

In the preface the author notes that adults who dislike the «fearful child» and find him shameful push the child to suppress his fear, whereas fear can be overcome only when it is talked about and understood. In the first chapter fear is called «a feeling like anger and joy»: it prepares a person for danger and, as a protective reaction, helps development. The chapter explains the difference between fright (a reaction to a concrete threat), phobia (excessive fear of something harmless) and panic (a time-limited attack accompanied by bodily symptoms).

To the question «What is the opposite of fear?» the author's answer is trust, composure and self-confidence; she calls fear «narrowness» and its opposite «breadth». From birth to age three the basic fear is being separated from parents and left alone; at two a child turns wooden blocks into lions and makes them «live» in the cupboard and under the bed. As the child grows he shares adults' worries about AIDS, the atom bomb and unemployment and can no longer be calmed with «everything is fine»; the author holds that parents should give courage through their own example.

In the media section the author shows schoolchildren listening to the morning news, a magazine page with bloody pictures and the television; she refers to Neil Postman's thesis of «the disappearance of childhood» and to Klaus Hurrelmann's observations. Because children do not know concepts such as kilometres, probability or «a million counter-reports for every report», the news frightens them, and adults' silence feeds the fear further. Recommendations: limit television (none before three, half an hour a day at three to six), do not switch on the news unsupervised, talk through frightening information by means of play or story, and share the parent's own stance on the world.

The following parts discuss adults' fears (epidemics, nuclear accidents, ecological disasters) and the upbringing models «this world is dangerous» and «this world is lovely»; the author advises parents to accept their own faith and hope as well and briefly recalls the history of frightening children with God. The second chapter gives examples of a one-year-old afraid of a black statuette, fear of being alone and fears of medical examinations, blood and doctors; it recommends choosing words the child will understand such as «a mosquito will sting», not lying, and calming the child at separation with the story of the «bond of light».

• The chapters are built from short paragraphs, scenes from everyday life and personal memories
• Calming stories and imagery (for example the «bond of light») are given concretely
• The language is plain and warm, but some parts sound subjective with a spiritual-religious tone
• There are few references to statistics and scientific claims