Raising Human Beings

The introduction sets out the parent's basic dilemma: accepting who the child is and at the same time helping them to handle the academic, social and behavioural expectations of the «Real World». Greene notes that most parent–child conflicts arise when this balance is upset. The book has two aims: that things go well in the relationship with the child and, at the same time, nurturing the more positive sides of human nature — empathy, honesty, cooperation, taking another's perspective and resolving disagreements without conflict.

The author writes about himself: a father of two teenagers and a clinical psychologist for over twenty-five years who has worked with thousands of children (families, schools, psychiatric units, prisons). He applies in this book to all children the «Collaborative & Proactive Solutions» (CPS) approach that he described in his earlier book «The Explosive Child»; there is not much difference between «typical» and «challenging» children, and all have the same need. The stories were inspired by real children and parents, and the chapters alternate between girls and boys.

Chapter 1 opens with a wide historical picture: children used to be brought into the world to carry on the line and help on the farm, «might was right, father knew best». Now children are «real people» and they know it. Many parents get stuck in the «muddy area» between permissiveness and authoritarianism: they want the child to be independent but not make bad choices, not to be harsh but not disrespectful, not to shout but to be heard. Greene answers: «There is no muddy area between the Kingdom of Dictatorship and the Province of Pushover — it is a partnership, and its most important ingredient is cooperation rather than power».

The author maintains: parents have been cooperating with the child since the child was born (when the baby cries they try to understand the cause and adjust according to feedback). A collaborative partnership does not stop the parent from being an authority, but it is not the «old-fashioned» authority but an authority that chooses to influence: what a parent most wants is influence, not control. The chapter ends with the morning scene of a single mother called Denise: three children (Hank, Nick, Charlotte), a half-eaten breakfast, taunting, the dog's food, hurried shouts. Denise wonders «why must every morning be like this?»

• Each chapter opens with the story of a family; the theory comes after the example
• With questions and answers («A collaborative partnership? With my child? Really?») Greene voices the reader's resistance in advance
• The chapters alternate between girls and boys, and the mother and father figures also change
• The author gives the historical view (the status of children) briefly and uses it to explain the confusion of the modern parent